Features / YKYGs

You know you go to JP when…

By BHAVNA BHATIA, junior, ABHISHEK CHOUTHAI, junior, and ANDREW YE, sophomore

…people say “nbd” and “hashtag” out loud.
…you’ve experienced an entire day of tests, an entire day of movies, and an entire day of PowerPoint presentations.
…the pizza sold after school is a better deal than the pizza sold during lunch.
…you avoid the public library, because all the freshmen hang out there.
…more detentions are given out for tardiness than anything else.
…little children roam the hallways.
…half the school aspires to be doctors, engineers, or investment bankers.
…the lunch ladies serve a “special lunch” for Black History Month, which consists of biscuits, macaroni, and chicken.
…your principal knows how to dance the “bhangra.”
…you still refresh Parent Portal regularly.
…“swag” and “boss” are out; “yolo” and “finna” are in.
…the more elaborate a guy’s prom proposal is, the more he’s going to be disliked by other guys.
…for seniors, HSPA week is “go out for breakfast and watch movies in class” week.
…underclassmen and seniors sleep in during HSPA week…
…but still arrive late to school.
…boys have to roam the school for ten minutes in order to find an open bathroom.
…freshmen are being asked to prom, while seniors are desperately waiting for a date.
…some seniors are more excited about Wildwood than they are about prom.
…every day during sixth period lunch, Mr. Pierce counts down the days left until summer…
…and until retirement.
…you can’t get a report card if you have Parent Portal…
…but you can’t sign up for APs without it.
…the driving safety video makes you develop a phobia of driving.
…you’re still groggy from spring break.
…it takes over half an hour to set up the Key Club yearbook picture…
…and half an hour to leave.
…you overhear someone asking, “When’s the spelling bee? I want to enter!”
…you can send someone an Ides of March “daggergram” in homeroom.
…the Spanish art unit requires you to look for triangles in every other painting.
…performances at Café Night are so good that the microphone doesn’t need to be turned on…
…whereas at pep rallies, due to the microphone, you can only hear every other word.
…you realize that a JP swim team exists…
…then you wonder where it practices.
…you hate daylight savings time for making you lose a precious hour of sleep.
…both freshmen and seniors are planning to self-study for APs.
…the slang cycle is renewed every marking period.
…every day brings news of another prom proposal or college acceptance.
…only Genesis and the announcements remember your birthday.
…obscure brands market their fruit drinks to the student body during lunch with a spinning wheel.
…teachers get to experience the wonders of Zumba during PE Day.
…juniors are already starting to get senioritis…
…and sophomores are coming down with junioritis.
…election campaign posters invoke knock-knock jokes, puppies, unicorns, Internet memes, and variants of “yolo.”
…you don’t notice the M&Ms, math equations, Calvin and Hobbes comics, inspirational quotes, and random scenery painted on the walls anymore.

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