2011 — PRESENT
…one period of Z-Fanatical Fitness makes you more sore than an entire year of gym combined.
…it takes two years to fix the clock in the auditorium.
…geese use the field more often than the students.
…the gym bathroom never seems to have any paper towels.
…but science classrooms have too many.
…you have a “polar bear” club…
…with a disappointing lack of polar bears.
…the clock in the auditorium is never right.
…you miss the sound of Mr. Esposito’s voice over the P.A.
…APUSH videos are so bad they’re good.
…your “morning run” is the sprint to homeroom.
…you’re in danger of failing gym because you forgot your gym clothes too many times.
…the new wing’s moniker is “The Tower of Terror.”
…freshmen are willing to spend $20 for the PSATs, which do not even count.
…through rain and hail and snow, you sprint to school without an umbrella.
…you have to run three laps in thirty-degree weather during gym.
…you hear that you’re guaranteed a 5 on the AP test just by showing up…
…but evidently the most challenging part is managing to not fall asleep during the test.
…you almost didn’t graduate because you missed too many days of sex ed.
…you speak Hindi and eat chaat…
…and realize you’re not even Indian.
…the study hall teacher has to ask the students not to study so loudly.
…a cow bell at lunch gets everyone’s attention.
…people go to football games to see the marching band, too!
…the angriest you’ll ever see students is when they’re fighting for points back on a history quiz.
…a fire drill is the highlight of your day…
…except when it interrupts an Algebra 2 test and the teacher refuses to grant extra time.
…the geese never seem to migrate.
…you need to invent your own parking spot to make it to school on time.
…your teachers uses rounding at .7 as a bargaining chip against students.
…no matter what language you take, Mr. Freifeld has been your substitute.
…there is a multi-step strategy to getting the flavor you want from the Snapple machine in the cafeteria.
…the whole school knows you because you took good notes in US History I.