Features

Student Code: Decoded

By SHERILYN MORSE, ’14

It’s a known fact: teachers will say one thing, but students will interpret it as another, often resulting in unnecessary stress and worry. Yet students aren’t the only ones caught in the confusion of language — teachers have it tough, too. There are countless excuses that students make when trying to wheedle themselves out of trouble, and teachers must dig below the innocent words to find out their actual meanings. And while teachers can usually discern genuine replies from hastily-concocted excuses, sometimes they can still mess up. The solution? A (mostly) comprehensive list of translations designed to clear up confusion once and for all.

I was in the bathroom. I was too tired to listen.

I didn’t really study that much. I studied until 3 a.m. But I can’t tell people, or else they’ll judge me.

I can’t come because I have a doctor’s appointment. I don’t mind missing that meeting, but I cannot bear the thought of missing the season finale of my favorite show.

I tried my best. I didn’t try at all.

My printer was out of ink. I was too lazy to insert a new cartridge, and it was too late to ask my parents to help.

The “rhkjehrkjwhekrhw” on my essay wasn’t there when I printed it. I fell asleep with my head on the keyboard. Oops.

I was sick. I had to study for SATs.

I didn’t hear you when you told us to bring up the homework. I desperately needed those extra minutes in class to finish it.

I understand your point, but I completely deserved that grade. I’m calling my lawyer after school.

I didn’t understand problems 13-37, but I did the rest. They looked like they required too much effort. Besides, they had graphs.

That extra mark on my scantron is there because I have a terrible eraser. I wasn’t sure if A or C was right, so I picked both.

I’m going through a rough time at home. My favorite contestant on “The Bachelorette” was voted off yesterday.

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