Features

The Ten Hallway Commandments

By WHITNEY WANTONG, ’14

1. Thou shall not congregate in the middle of the hallway. Nobody likes walking over human roadblocks.

2. Thou shall not push or shove. Give people their space.

3. Thou shall not obstruct the paths of fellow commuters by taking a leisurely stroll. It is called a hallway, not a stay-in-my-way.

4. Thou shall not yell. That’s just obnoxious. People need their ears to hear, not to look cute.

5. Thou shall not trip people. Perhaps you do not care whether someone gets hurt, but karma does. And you don’t want karma to trip you.

6. Thou shall not dance in the hallways. Save it for gym class.

7. Thou shall not run as if training for the Olympics. With all the energy you have for tackling, join the NFL instead.

8. Thou shall not forget your manners. It is time to add “please,” “excuse me,” and “thank you” to your vocabulary.

9. Thou shall not throw things in the hallway. When you’re in gym, you just stand there. But suddenly, when you’re in the hallway, you think you’re Peyton Manning.

10. Thou shall not flip people’s locks. You know very well that opening flipped locks is almost as annoying as people who do not follow hallway etiquette.

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