Features

Heard in the Hallways

By SHERILYN MORSE, senior

For most students, the mundane act of passing involves staying to the right, getting to class, and stopping by a friend’s locker, but the conversations we have are anything but ordinary. Below is a list of some of the zaniest dialogues to have been exchanged in the halls. Perhaps one of them is yours…

THE RANTS
They can’t just take away Columbus Day! It’s a national holiday!
Can you believe what they did in the last episode? That was not okay.
Oh my gosh, there’s gluten in this? Do you like hate me or something?
Don’t you get it? If you die in Canada, you die in real life!
If you’re wearing flip-flops in 30 degree weather: leave.

THE NERDY
Is the gym test going to be hard?
Trigonometry: the art of making things up.
No it’s b2 minus 4ac, not plus!
I’d like to imagine a future where instead of B.C.E. and C.E. we use the cancellation of Zoey 101 as the datum for humanity’s calendar. It is currently year 4 Z.C.
‘Professional mountain-measurer’ is not a career. Nobody gets paid to go around measuring mountains… unless they’re trapped in a math problem.
Last week my brother drew a flower on his math homework and the teacher graded it.
It’s simple! If (x+y)2 = xx+2xy…

THE RIDICULOUS
I think I did well on that Algebra II test.
Hey! Let me get some of those Wheaties.
I think I’ll shave my head. I can pull it off.
I’m stuck on Band-Aid brand cause Band-Aid’s stuck on me.
Is he even a good kisser?
No lie, my uncle reads books by sitting on them.
I sometimes mix “I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter” with butter to create “I Can Kind of Believe Some of This May be Butter.”
Next time you’re in the halls, whether you’re talking to a friend, a teacher, or even yourself, keep in mind that your audience may be larger than you expected.

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