By PRACHI SINHA, sophomore
BORED OF THE RINGS
Frodo sits listlessly as a man drones on and on about the luck he had in finding a golden ring on the lake floor while he was swimming. Frodo finally decides to shut him up by throwing his ring into a volcano. The end.
THE PINK PANTSER
A bumbling police inspector tries to catch The Diva, a daring miscreant who has been terrorizing town by pants-ing unwary victims wearing pink pants.
John McCake, the head chef of the NY Culinary Institute, must save a prize recipe, which has been stolen by foreign rival Hams Graper during a Christmas party in Times Square. Warning: includes violent use of whisks, sifters, and pie tins.
A young, uninspiring teenager sees a pale sparkle in the woods one day and goes to investigate, only to find the most alluring being she has ever seen. He leads her further into the woods, then leans in to… sink his teeth into her skin and drain her body of blood. Whoops, not boyfriend material!
A robotic handyman sent from the future travels back in time to exterminate a dangerous species of insect that has infested his society, squishing one bug—“I’ll be smack”—at a time.
78-year-old Carla sets out to fulfill her lifelong dream of seeing the depths of the ocean floor. A young Girl Scout comes along in an amazing journey that includes talking sharks and an exotic jellyfish named Kevin.
THE PRINCESS BRIBE
The classic fairytale of a beautiful princess and a dashing prince who together take bribes to pardon giants and evil swordsmen. Meanwhile, the plot is narrated by the voice of a grandfather teaching his grandchildren the corrupt ways of the world.
SHEEPLESS IN SEATTLE
An impoverished farmer calls a radio talk show in an attempt to find his missing sheep. He travels the country in vain only to find the lamb turn up when all hope is lost.
Actress Chris notices that her daughter has been acting strangely lately, arguing with someone when she is alone, changing her outfits back and forth throughout the day, and reapplying her makeup without remembering. Possession? This girl has not only one demon, but two. Meet the exorsisters.
“Who you gonna call? Toastbusters!” If you’re worried about making a corny or awkward toast for a special occasion, we’ll be there to save the day! The director of this movie is a great guy, really. You know, there was this one time he and I had a conversation…
HIPPIE POTTER AND THE SORCERERS STONE
Rescued from his neglectful aunt and uncle, a young boy must overcome his first challenge: guarding the most sacred possession of the Highwarts School of Hippies—the sacred rock, a gem that enables perpetual enstonement.
One day a young boy named Troy receives a mysterious package. He is surprised to find a Mr. Potatohead sitting in front of his door, but brings him in nonetheless. Shortly, strange things start happening in his room. Witness the battle between toy and man, Trojan War II!