By MONICA BEISPIEL

Should I be concerned about being politically correct?

There is a painfully simple answer to this question: no.

There is no need for me to explain this answer to anyone who has any concept of what it means to be American, but I suppose I will proceed with this explanation for those of you who haven’t read the Constitution lately. Prepare to be enlightened:

Political correctness is inherently un-American. Why should the liberal elite tell us what is “correct?” Our ethics are clearly doing a fine job of that. Our upstanding morals should allow us to debase people of other races, genders, and sexual preferences, or any other people in those weird, innate categories as we see fit, because to do so is our right.

Throughout history, people have been persecuted for their deviant beliefs; in today’s progressive society, however, we are not held back by such restrictions. As true Americans, we should have the ability to express whatever views we so please. Though those views may sometimes come across as hatred toward a certain group of people, we’re just us expressing our thoughts and exercising our right to free speech. So don’t prattle about bigotry and the like—you’re hurting our feelings.

In fact, exercising the rights bestowed upon us by our founding fathers is the farthest thing from bigotry. After all, good ol’ Thomas Jefferson was the one who said that all men are created equal. Evidently, political correctness goes directly against those wise words from a founding father (you PC people can get back to me when your head is carved into a mountain). This whole political correctness frenzy is inherently unequal because it claims that the feelings of minorities are above mine; if they get offended when I use a racial slur that demonstrates a total lack of sensitivity toward a different culture, that’s their problem. Everyone knows that First Amendment rights, as with any good workout regimen, must be exercised daily until your patriotic muscles are the size of watermelons.
And why should a minority’s feelings be put above mine? We live in a society full of trigger warnings, alerting us to any trivial comment that might be considered derogatory. To borrow a quote from the elementary school playground—as so many of us anti-PCers do—“stick it in your juice box and suck it up.” It’s a tough world out there, and these softies that cry foul every time a presidential candidate claims that all Mexicans are rapists need to toughen up. It is the constitutional right of Mr. Trump and every citizen of the U.S., after all, to believe that stereotypes can be applied to entire nations of people.

So in accordance with Jefferson, let’s keep everything equal and let the patriots in the war against political correctness state their opinions. And, to be fair, just keep the PC ones to yourselves because Trump and his toupée don’t care much to hear them.