Features / News

The Stevens Family (The Addams Family + JP Stevens?)


English Division: The English division is considered a sociable outlier with a penchant for gossip and sharp pens. Tired of re­-reading the same classics, it has decided to find something new to do, and what better place to find entertainment than in the diverse halls of JP? It has gone on a quest to find out more about its neighbors.

The Music/Art Wing: This rather jaunty little persona is always up to date with the latests fashions around the world. It has a bit of a reputation as a dreamer, with its mind forever wandering to the latest art piece or musical composition, but it enjoys its own company, being a little isolated from its neighboring hallways.

The Science Wing: The science wing proudly encompasses several of the critical intersections upstairs, but is currently under feeling the strain of a transition as many classrooms move from their old home to the newer B­ wing. The new classrooms are torn over embracing their heritage or rejecting the older, less sleek facilities. The English division has taken the liberty of studying the character traits of the science wing, especially its struggle between pure analytical reasoning and sentimentality. The English Division will soon be publishing a novel called “Feelings: The True Enemy of the Sciences”.

The A Wing: Having travelled around the globe as a starry­-eyed teenager, the A­-wing has finally found it home in the world of foreign languages. The History Department alternately despairs over and delights in having found a companion who never once ceases to talk, and is as interested in different cultures as the A Wing is. The A Wing recently declared war on the B Wing, having taken grave offense of a snide comment about the B­ wing’s self­-proclaimed superiority. The two foes had been in the works of crafting yet another Treaty of Paris with the help of the history department (until the B­wing left a threatening note about corrosive chemicals dripping through floors, and the A­ wing decided peace was not an option).

The Math Department: Deemed a hermit by many, it spends its time among stacks of towering paper, floating in a sea of broken pencils and calculator shells, perpetually trying to find the true value of its (e)x. The English Division is tired of attempting to converse with it, as when the two start talking, the conversation usually ends up revolving around some unsolvable equation of sorts.

The Athletic Wing: The Athletic Wing has been building up its power base and constructing a plan for school­wide domination, conspiring to establish a fitness regime at JP that would supplant the academia that runs rampant throughout the school. However, the adjacent music department has shaken off any threats, saying that the stereotypes are indeed true: the athletic wing is all brawn and no brain.

History Hallway: Best known for recording every single event that has ever occurred in JP (and making a big, fat, despicable textbook out of them), it is a classy section that seems to live mostly in the Victorian Era. The Math Department upstairs often gets annoyed by its disruptive reenactments of significant JP events (such as the Great PARCC of 2015), sometimes knocking over its proud scrap paper fort.

Image Source: http://images.clipartpanda.com/happy-family-clip-art-well-being-clipart-dc7oeMKc9.jpeg

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